There are no words to describe the death of a loved one. My heart goes out to those of you who are currently facing such pain.
I am always being guided to share more wisdom from my near-death experience and my personal healing surrounding extreme grief and loss.
It has not been easy, and yet the process continues to leave me filled with endless gratitude for the human experience and the inevitable cycle of life.
The death of a loved one can open up parts of your soul which you have not yet explored and as a result, the grieving process becomes filled with seemingly endless layers of emotions. Many times you are not even sure what it is exactly that you are feeling.
Joy and laughter may fill your heart, as you reminisce through old memories, and seemingly out of nowhere, severe depression takes over. You may feel intense sadness one moment and later extreme anger. Or maybe one month you feel hopeful and the next month you can barely get out of bed.
Grief can even show up as not feeling anything at all.
And as if the emotional turmoil were not bad enough, it is layered with feelings of self-induced shame, knowing deep down that, were your loved one still by your side, they would never want to see you in so much pain.
It is no wonder you feel devastated and struggling to feel like a whole person again. Wondering if there is life after such a heartbreaking loss.
Who could possibly understand what you’re going through?
If the idea of feeling better feels scary and somehow dishonoring the loss of your loved one, I want you to know you are not alone.
What My Near-Death Journey Taught Me About Death
Death is something I used to fear my entire life. When someone I loved passed away, I never knew how to process those emotions.
The heaviness of loss and shame consumed me so much that I was too afraid to tell anyone.
Looking back, the fear of death prevented me from fully living in so many subtle ways.
Ironically, my near-death experience eliminated my fear of death. It showed me that the soul never dies and that death is not what we think it is—it is not the end.
One of my biggest messages I want you to know is that your loved one wishes to continue seeing you happy, healthy and thriving.
During the time my soul crossed over, I remember wishing for my family to know that I was okay. I wanted them to see that they would be okay, too.
In fact, I was still around in spirit form and had not actually gone anywhere. I was happy, safe and surrounded by beautiful beings.
And more importantly, my leaving the physical realm was nothing personal and part of my soul’s growth journey over lifetimes.
“I am right here,” I wanted my family to hear me say.
Give Yourself Space to Heal Without Judgment
Grief is a challenging emotion to navigate, especially when others around you may be expecting you to ‘get over’ loss after a specific amount of time.
It is not about ‘getting over it,’ but instead allowing yourself the space to feel every emotion and eventually define a new you after the initial shock and devastation.
You are free to allow yourself to grieve for however long it takes and however it chooses to show up, without making it or you somehow wrong.
The loss of a loved one is something no one can truly understand except the person going through it—which is why it can feel so lonely.
An exercise you can do when you feel ready, is to ask yourself, “am I holding onto any guilt or shame surrounding what happened?”
And then to ask yourself, “what would it say about me if I moved on with my life and found joy again?”
These are two very confronting questions which can be extremely painful to look at—but they are the doorway through the grieving process.
Healing Through The Loss of A Loved One Daily Ritual
A mindfulness practice can help support you as you navigate some of the painful and uncomfortable emotions which are showing up for you.
Mindfulness can help quiet your mind and tap into your innate healing ability to move through grief and loss in a safe and nurturing manner.
I highly recommend this practice alongside professional therapy for grief and loss. Everyone needs extra support during significant transitions in life, and you don’t ever have to go it alone.
Here is a short ritual you can practice each day.
- Find a quiet place to sit or lie down for 15 to 20 minutes. You can grab your favorite blanket or pillow. Make sure you are comfortable and close your eyes.
- Allow all the muscles in your body to relax and take a few slow, deep cleansing breaths.
- Start by wiggling your toes and work your way up the muscles along your body to your forehead. Release all tension.
- Place both hands gently on your heart and repeat the following affirmations 3 times. “I am safe. I am loved. I am always okay.”
- Notice any resistance that comes up for you. Take a few slow, deep breaths.
- Repeat the next affirmation 3 times. “I may not understand this loss I am experiencing, and that is okay. I know I am safe and being guided every step of the way.”
- Take a few more deep breaths and allow your emotions to move through the cells of your body. Acknowledge any feelings rising to the surface and breathe. Allow your body to shed tears if needed, as it releases stored emotions. All is okay.
- Repeat the last set of affirmations 3 times. “It is safe for me to acknowledge how I feel. I forgive all that I do not understand. I am loved. I am loved. I am loved.”
No matter how long it takes for the pain to begin to ease, I want you to know that it is possible for you to grieve and be happy again, at the same time.
You have permission to occupy both of these emotions without judgment, because your grieving will eventually turn into the most powerful form of love and gratitude you could ever imagine.